


The Thing about Consent

by theowletqueen (nerdqueenenterprise)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Background Castiel/Dean Winchester - Freeform, Consensual Possession, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of a Panic Attack, kinda mentions of past abuse if you squint (as in mentions of sam's time in hell), some really grossly fluffy flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdqueenenterprise/pseuds/theowletqueen
Summary: "I want you to possess me, Gabriel. I - I’ve been possessed before, and apart from all the pain it’s also … peaceful, and it feels like … just being able to give up, just once, and nothing bad would happen, with you, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Gabe. I trust you.”Saying yes to an angel isn't the same as saying yes to Gabriel.Mainly because Gabriel freaks out.





	

Apart from the steady crackle of the fire, the library is silent. Sam is bent over at least eight different books, hair pushed behind his ears. The position is likely going to screw up his back some, Gabriel notes. So he can offer Sam a backrub and watch him melt into the mattress. Excellent.

He isn’t really sure what the human is researching. There’s no case at the moment, no big picture of some wannabe evil overlord, at least none that they know of. But since it’s proven that higher levels of nerdiness equate higher levels of cuteness, well, who can blame Gabriel for falling for Sam?

    “You’re staring.”

    “Mhm. You know how people go to museums to look at beautiful things? Well, I don’t need to go to a museum.”

Sam falters for a moment, then his smile lights up the room. “Jeez, Gabe.”

    “Are you blushing there?”

    “What? No, no, um -” Sam is doing the head-ducking thing he always does when he blushes, pushing his hand through his hair and still smiling. Aw.

    “So it’s just hot in here then?”

    “Um.”

    “Well, that would be you, Sambo.”

    “Oh my god, Gabriel.”

    “Lord’s name in vain.”

Sam looks like he’s desperately hoping for his brain to spit out a response to that, but all he does is sit with his mouth open until he lets his head fall again, grinning.

    “Can I ask you something?” he blurts out suddenly.

    “Anything.”

    “Um. So. Uh, when I was possessed by Meg and Lucifer and Gadreel, uh, it wasn’t … pleasant, like … it was really painful, the initial process of being possessed and then the feeling of someone else inside of you, kinda like you’re just about bursting with all the pressure. And, um, when we met Cas’ vessel, he also thought it was incredibly painful and I’m just - I’m just wondering, why is that? Why, why does it have to hurt?”

Sam’s brain makes the weirdest leaps sometimes, but this is, well. Gabriel bites his lip, running his fingers over Sam’s chair, debating how exactly to break it to his human that angels usually just don’t care.

    “Sam, look.” He runs a thumb over Sam’s jaw, distantly noticing the slight prickle of stubble, the muscles shifting as he unclenches his jaw. “The thing is … most angels and demons, especially demons of course, … they won’t care about the vessel. Humans are just meatsuits, Sam, that’s how you’re seen. So, it could be gentle, but … why would any being care about that?”

And that’s when Sam asks the question that just about blows Gabriel’s mind.

    “So could you possess me?”

Gabriel stares at him like he’d just grown a second head, mouth going slack.

    “I …  _ what _ ?!”

    “Would you possess me?” Sam repeats, and Gabriel can feel himself still experiencing this … he doesn’t know how to term the levels of shock he’s feeling.

    “Sam, I … come again?”

The fucker has the audacity to huff out a small laugh. “Is it such a crazy idea? I want you to possess me, Gabriel. I - I’ve been possessed before, and apart from all the pain it’s also … peaceful, and it feels like … just being able to give up, just once, and nothing bad would happen, with you, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Gabe. I trust you.”

Sam trusts him. That’s … Gabriel knows that, but he couldn’t - he can’t just - he can’t  _ possess _ Sam, take over his body, take his body away, take everything that is Sam and - his very  _ essence _ , all the Sam there is, and shove it into a dark corner of his mind, technically obliterating Sam and --  _ taking _ him, taking him away from him, forcing his way into … into what’s essentially also Sam, his body, his -- him, intruding on something so personal, coming so close with him, touching him so - so privately, but not - but not, not in a good way, almost like raping, or worse and --

    “Gabe? Hey?” Long fingers snap in front of his eyes, bringing him back a bit.

    “Sam, I - I have to go, I’m sorry,” Gabriel chokes out and flies away before the words have even reached Sam’s ears, leaving the human in stunned silence.

 

It isn’t like Gabriel left, per se, but their relationship is … strained, to say the least. They cuddle, sure, they even kiss on occasion, but their talks are awkward and well, when there’s nobody else in the room they prefer not to talk, and there’s definitely no sex happening.

Sam probably has no idea why Gabriel reacted the way he did and is pretty hurt and confused, but … hell. Gabriel’s tried, he’s really tried having that conversation, but there’s something about that topic that mutes whatever he could say.

It’s not that he’s disgusted, not really. He’s pretty damn thrilled by the prospect, but Sam … Sam doesn’t know what it means, what might happen, doesn’t understand the implications, doesn’t understand how, how indecently  _ close _ that would make them, and that’s definitely not a word Gabriel ever thought he’d use. And what’s even worse: he could hurt Sam. Sweet hopeful little Samshine, who already carries the weight of the world, who’s been tortured and hurt and torn apart and traumatized and still carries so much hope in his heart. Gabriel is terrified of hurting him.

And yet. If he could only explain it, why it’s such a huge deal, maybe Sam would still want it. Maybe - maybe they really could. There is no God, no angels to dictate right and wrong, so … if they wanted, if they both really wanted, they could.

And - and Gabriel understands where Sam is coming from, what it would mean to him to just be free for a while from all the worries, the pain, the suffering, the trauma, not even having to carry his own body. It would probably really help with the panic attacks too, just giving his body over to Gabriel and making everything  _ stop _ . And the attacks can get really bad sometimes, and Sam has begged him to make them stop before.

So, yeah, Gabriel gets why Sam wants this.

 

It’s a couple weeks after their … well, whatever it was that happened in the library. Gabriel had just been fighting with Dean over the last few marshmallows and was now carrying his hard won spoils to Sam’s room to share them and maybe finally start talking to him and right this entire mess when he hears the softest little wheezing sound coming from Sam’s room, so faint a human probably wouldn’t have picked up on it.

Sam’s having a panic attack.

Shit.

The marshmallows bounce softly over the floor as Gabriel bolts over to the room. Sam is huddled up in a corner, rocking and shaking, eyes unseeing, hand scrabbling for purchase on the wall. He’s hyperventilating so much his breath is only coming in little choked whimpers.

This is a bad one.

Gabriel grabs Sam’s hand and crowds right into his personal space, pressing his other hand to Sam’s chest and rubbing softly.

    “Sam! Sam! Hey, stay with me, okay? Sam, I’m here, it’s fine, just breathe, okay, honey? Sam!”

Sam’s eyes roll upwards and he’s still desperately gagging for air, shaking violently.

    “Sam! No, nonononono, Sam!”

Shit. This is a very bad one.

Sam has a fantastic grip on himself, usually, so when he breaks down like that it’s never long until the spillover comes crashing along their bond and -

 

Well.

_ Shit _ , to be exact.

This was … not supposed to happen. At all. Ever. 

‘Kay. So. Dealing with this. How?

Hell.

He just messed up  _ so _ badly.

There’s a lock of hair in his eyes that is definitely the wrong color and wrong length and way, way too luscious for his vessel, the fingers he uses to push it back are too long and too calloused.

Oh, and then there’s the way his vessel is lying in front of him, eyes open but glazed over, unseeing, slumped against the wall.

Gabriel’s new legs are clad in worn denim, scuffed working boots on his feet, a layer of flannel hiding the slightly too small tee, same flannel’s sleeves are pushed up to hide the fact that they’re too short otherwise.

Great. He just possessed a human - his human - without explicit consent, while he’d just been having a panic attack, most likely hurting him in the process. 

And yet he’s feeling more alive than ever. Or, well, since they had their …  _ thing _ , in the library.

At least he can feel that Sam is still around in here  _ somewhere _ , back in the far reaches of his own mind, probably lost in some half-forgotten happy childhood memory, because that's usually what happens.

Gabriel should not enjoy this as much as he does, but being inside Sam feels … great, for lack of another word. Simply …  _ right _ . Kind of  _ at home _ , but also very  _ finally _ and  _ bliss _ .  _ Free _ and  _ not falling anymore _ and  _ secure _ . 

**Gabriel?**

Well, dear Dad. Trust Sam to be back up that quickly. Sure, Gabriel is letting him, and if Sam would want to expulse him he certainly could do so, but his mind coped with the shock of being thrown off course and possessed extraordinarily quickly.

**Well, I do have some practice, I guess.**

Ouch. Yeah, he probably does. And he can hear Gabriel. Cool.

**Is that not -?**

It's fine, Sam. And they'll have to work something out so Sam doesn't catch Gabriel's every thought. Humans probably weren't meant to think that, and it would be a shame to break Sam’s brain. 

**Heh.**

He can leave any second. Or Sam could also make him, if Sam didn’t want this, because this wasn’t meant to happen.

**No, I’m - I’m fine, Gabe. This is …**

**-Nice.**

**Yeah, nice.**

Oh, so Sam got that. Great.

**I hear pretty much everything you think about. I’d - turn it off, but I don’t know how. Also … it’s … yeah, nice, being this close to you. And I, I know why, well, I don’t know why I asked for this, what I thought it’d feel like exactly, but it’s better than I imagined. Not like - like I want it to be like that all the time, right, I’m pretty happy to be in control of my own body and being the only one to be able to control it, but. You know. Occasionally. Maybe.**

Ah right, Sam was good at that kinda stuff. Not just talking about feelings - sure, he’s good at that, too - but surprising Gabriel like that. Like - Sam has this way of completely revolutionizing ways of thinking. Like now. ‘It’s nice, let’s do it again.’ Things that would have been unthinkable, unspeakable of in heaven, things so heinous to do to another (well, if you do see a human as a coequal being, which admittedly not a lot of angels do or did), and Sam just went and said things like that.

**Which aren't really** **_that_ ** **revolutionary if you don't understand the implications.** , Sam teases.  **So what's it gonna be, Gabe? Are you going to keep staring at that wall in terror or…?**

**-Or what, Sammoose?**

**I don't know. What do angels usually do when they get a new vessel?**

Gabriel looks at his old vessel (well, his vessel. He certainly won't keep Sam). He built this one, back when he came to Earth for the final time. Over the years he adjusted it a bit to suit the looks of the times, but that was mostly just hair and facial hair, moles when they were in fashion, some grotesque changes when he needed to look like some pagan monster god. It’s home, in a way. He’s grown very accustomed to it.

And yet … the things he could do with Sam now …

**If you feed me anything sweet I will kick you out.**

**-Sugar is good for your body, darling.**

**Not really, no.**

Hm. Sam really doesn’t seem to be particularly perturbed by the situation -

**Yup.**

-and if Sam were letting him think, Gabriel could surely find a way out of this situation that would be beneficial to both of them. 

Except Sam’s entire  _ soul _ is pressed up against his Grace, threatening to seep completely into Gabriel, or - 

**-Sam!**

**What?**

**-Come on.**

**I’m not doing anything!**

**-You are literally rubbing against me. I can’t** **_think_ ** **like this!**

He can feel Sam rolling his eyes. Metaphorically. ‘Cause Gabriel controls his body and all.

**Gabe, look. It’s fine. I enjoy this, you’re not hurting me, I’m fine. Okay? So let’s have some fun with the situation.**

**-Like?!**

**I dunno. What do people usually do when they get a new meatsuit?** **  
** Gabriel wishes Sam wouldn’t call it that.

**Sorry. But … come on, let’s do something fun.**

**-You know my definition of fun, Sam.**

**Pissing Dean off and killing people.**

**-In a nutshell.**

**So let’s go do that. Maybe rather piss off Dean though.**

**-Think I could pass as you?**

**Let’s try!**

Gabriel can feel Sam’s excitement coursing through him, too. It’s weirdly similar to the emotions they share through their bond, but also so much more direct.

**Like a phone call versus talking face to face.**

**-Pretty much, yeah.**

Gabriel slinks down the stairs, trying (and probably failing horribly) to walk how Sam would walk, while the human is trying not to laugh. Good thing Gabriel is controlling … their? His? Sam’s? face, because he’s got a great poker face and Sam not so much.

Dean is sitting in the kitchen, feet up on the table, sipping some coffee from a Dr. Sexy mug Charlie totally accidentally left with them the last time she was over, and he’s frowning over The Trial.

**-Sam, I need to know. How much are you willing to sacrifice to freak your brother out?**

**What are you planning?**

Gabriel lets him in on what he thought of, feeling Sam’s delight at the proposition.

**Oh** **_hell_ ** **yeah!**

So Gabriel walks into the room, moving as Sam-ish as possible, acknowledges Dean with a short rise of his eyebrows and a nod, and makes straight for what is infamously known as Gabriel’s cupboard of sweets. It’s self-refilling and has some sort of Dean-repellant, aka burning his fingertips off. Sam’s pretty sure it’s only repelling Dean, because his fingertips were fine and he came out of the encounter alive and with a few hands full of sweets. For science, of course. He also ate them for science.

**-Wait, what?**

**What?** **_Everyone_ ** **gets cravings every once in a while.**

So Gabriel grabs an entire super sized package of M&Ms (the blue ones, thank God), boosts himself up onto the counter and starts munching, letting Sam co-experience them, which is, well, weird as fuck to consider, because it feels like - and sounds like, and tastes like - Sam is eating them himself, except he isn’t moving his jaw the way  _ he _ would.

    “What are you reading?” Gabriel mentally pats his own back. That was very Sam-ish.

    “Uh, just some book. Why, what’s going on?”

    “Nothing, just bored.”

Dean goes back to reading his book. Well, damn. They’ll have to think of something better.

    “You know, I kind of think that something odd is going on with the bathroom. Like … I really don’t think there’s another couple in the house, but I keep hearing people doing it in there. Two guys, most likely. Gabe promised me he isn’t cheating on me with Cas, or with you, so I just … I don’t know. It’s weird.”

Dean suddenly sits a lot more tense. 

    “Uh-hu,” is his only response.

    “Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you and Cas are getting it on, right? So it’s just very weird. I hope it’s not possessed, but then again, you never know.”

Gabriel is done with the M&Ms and snatches a bag of mini Twix, ripping them open noisily.

**-‘Cause I’m the** **_Twix_ ** **-ter, Sam. Get it?**

Dean sighs, sounding equal parts annoyed and frustrated and possibly also terrified that Sam might find out about him and Cas.

**Wait, so, seriously? Dean and Cas are finally a thing?** **  
** **-Yup.**

**Oh thank** **_God_ ** **!**

    “Sam,” Dean turns around, squinting at him. “What are you doing here? And why are you eating all of Gabriel’s sweets?”

    “Oh I do not know my dude,” Gabriel replies gleefully, managing to shove a twix sideways into his mouth. “It’s just for, you know, the fun.”

    “Who, ugh, I - Sam, okay, yeah, I get it, ha ha ha, very funny, making me think you’re possessed or high. I get it. You had a fight with your boyfriend, you’re sulking, you want someone to give you attention. How about you go piss off someone else?”

Aw damn. Seems like it’s not working and Dean is only annoyed. What else could they try that -

**Make a really, really obnoxiously sweet milkshake, but add a ton of alcohol. Right now, right before Dean’s eyes.** , Sam suggests, and Gabriel springs into motion, slapping the ingredients together. Dean is watching them, bearing the weary look of those that just want some peace and quiet from their younger siblings.

 

Apart from how the milkshake was the second most disgusting thing Sam’s poor tastebuds ever had to experience (the worst being the hellhound blood he accidentally swallowed once), nothing really happened. Dean eventually got fed up enough and left, probably to sulk somewhere else, and Sam and Gabriel return to their shared bedroom. Well, Gabriel returns, since he’s the one steering the legs.

**-Well. This was underwhelming.**

**Yeah…**

**-How are you, darling?**

**Honestly? Kinda exhausted. Is that a side effect of being, what did you call it, aware while being possessed?**

**-Probably, yep. Want me to leave and tuck you into bed?**

Sam fidgets. Spiritually.

**Can you, um, can you knock me out but … stay?** , he asks, sounding hopeful. Even without being squished so tightly together it'd be obvious why he's asking.

**-Do you trust me that much?**

The answer is clear before Sam even has the chance to think it. His soul rears up (sorta), pulling itself up to its full height and squaring its shoulders. Metaphorically. Gabriel winces internally.

**-Alright. Okay. Sorry for asking.**

Sam deflates minutely, curling himself around Gabriel’s Grace.

**Knock me out?**

He's gone within a fraction of a moment, and Gabriel is alone again in this not-his-vessel that feels too right. He figures it's because Sam is an archangel’s vessel after all and not nearly as fragile as most other humans. Also Sam is special. Very special. Gabriel ignores the urge to pet the human’s - his - head. That would just be a new level of weird.

. . .  _ Dad _ , but he needs to stop thinking about how comfy it is to be inside Sam.

  
  
  


It’s a couple days later. Still the middle of winter, still fires crackling in the various fireplaces around the bunker (Gabriel still waiting for the Winchesters to realize that their supply of firewood was self-replenishing). They hadn’t really talked about the whole possession thing, mainly because they’re both shit at communicating - Gabriel blames it on his self-exile and John’s superb parenting - but also because, well, what exactly is there to talk about? Gabriel notices all the buttersoft smiles and happy little sighs accompanied with wide doe eyes Sam sends his way of course, the way Sam almost seems to glow when looking at Gabriel, and apart from how that does  _ things _ to him, it also - yeah, no, it does things to him. It’s some Shakespearian level of love that he’s feeling, complete with all the murder and whatnot, even though they’ve got that behind them, thank definitely  _ not _ Heaven for that.

But they’re in the bunker, safe and sound as can be, Sam on the couch in some old but (according to him) very comfy sweats, long legs stretched out under the coffee table they found at a garage sale. Gabriel is very carefully perched on the back of the couch, Sam’s head in his lap, braiding his hair a thousand different styles. Sam’s eyes are closed and he’s so relaxed there’s a possibility he’ll slide off the couch just because of gravity.

**Gabe?**

**-Yeah?**

**Would you, um. Would you possess me again?**

**-It felt that good, huh?**

Sam smiles without opening his eyes.

**Yeah.**

Gabriel slithers off the back of the couch and onto Sam’s lap, nuzzling the human’s neck. Sam’s hands wander to his hips all on their own. Gabriel noses up, past Sam’s jaw, rubbing their cheeks together. It’s a bit comical, almost as though he’s a cat rubbing against his owner, but Sam smiles blissfully regardless. His eyelashes flutter against Gabriel’s forehead as he opens his eyes.

    “What are you waiting for?”, he teases, slowly pulling the archangel closer. There is a hint of Grace showing through Gabriel’s eyes, getting stronger until he really is glowing, air sizzling a little. Sam’s mouth falls open in a tiny gasp and he leaves it open, a tiny tendril of Gabriel’s Grace already slipping inside, curling around Sam’s soul, holding him closer than he’s ever been held before.

The flood of endorphins his brain is releasing is nearly enough to knock him out but he doesn’t want to miss a single second of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Find me on tumblr as theowletqueen for more mindless rambling :)


End file.
